she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
