yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
