she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
