It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
