Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
