You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This baby is an asshole
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
