your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
