She said her name was "party"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
