I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
