Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
