I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
