I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
