I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
