he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
