Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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