yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
