Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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