STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
