I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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