Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
