They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
