I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
