I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
