Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
