Your dad touched me again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am naked and annoyed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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