Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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