Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
