i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
