just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A+ Viking dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
