I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
