I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
