Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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