come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
