Can i not drive my cunt home
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
