do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
