You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
