Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
