i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
