I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
