I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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