5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
