You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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