The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize