you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
