its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i've created a new STD.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
