Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
