: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
