its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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