I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
