Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
