Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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