Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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